voices in my head

How come throughout a single 24 hour period I can feel invincible, like a failure, lonely, like I need some time alone, like a perfectionist and then a slacker, like I want 12 kids and twenty minutes later like I need to sell a few?

Picture Wall

Carrie took the most amazing photos of all the families, (all 10 of them), and made a picture wall for my parents! Can you imagine how much patience that took? How cool for my parents though to see all of their posterity, (so far), on one wall.

My sister Carrie took the most darling pics of Ruby. She is such a talented photographer. I would show more but they aren't exactly appropriate for the Internet! Thank you so much Carrie. You totally captured her and I can't wait to blow this one up! If you live in Utah you can take advantage of her talent. She books up fast though- Check her out at http://www.cwelton.blogspot.com/
Aunt Becca- please refrain from making comments about my weight. Big is beautiful and I am proud of my rolls and ripples!

Pros and Cons

Not having internet

Pros: Better self esteem- am not comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate

Cons: Can't keep in touch with all these people I admire

Not having full length mirror

Cons: Am gaining weight since don't really know what I look like.

Pros: Don't really know what I look like

Using my in-laws internet for 5 minutes while kids drive mom-in-law crazy

Pros: They are not driving me crazy

Cons: I write like English is my second language to save time.

miss you all.

i

Here at last!

Hooray, here safe and sound! Get ready for picture overload!

Ruby at the hospital.



My dear friend Kelly (thejensenkids.blogspot.com) came and took these at the hospital when she was less than 24 hours old. What a gift! She is so talented! Then- as if that wasn't enough- she took pics for me when we got home and even some of the boys!

As you can see- this could not have been an easy shot! Man, they are nuts! I think any amount of baby hunger a little package from heaven could induce was staved off for Kelly when she was done with this clan! It totally captures them- and my life.

Don't worry- I saved her about one minute after this was shot!

If you want to see something awkward- get me in front of a camera! I may have been the hardest of them all to work with.

Thank you all for all your prayers and fasting. Man this little one gave us quite a scare. For those of you that don't know about all the hullabaloo- it is because we simply didn't know what was going on! We were sent to a specialist at 36 weeks because of a likely chromosomal abnormality, a proportionally small stomach and head in utero- all of which has high risk of casing a still birth. There were so many possibilities that the exact problem couldn't be determined until after the delivery.. When she was born at 37 weeks, an estimated 41/2 lb baby was 5.10. She doest look too skinny though because she was 17.25 inches! In the delivery room I was surrounded by a pediatrician- a neo-natal nurse, a perinatologist , and my doctor. After she came each said in turn- what a wonderful surprise and wow- would you look at that! We feel so very blessed. The problem was a failing placenta and not something more serious. But now that she is out and able to get plenty of nourishment- she is growing like a weed. I was thrilled to see the rolls on her thighs yesterday when I was bathing her. Thank all of you again for your calls and prayers. I have the best friends and family.

p.s. This happened three weeks ago! I just don't have Internet or a home phone so forgive me for taking so long to post this!

D-DAY!

I don't know if I am falling asleep in this because of sleep deprevation or if I am just closing my eyes because I am completely overwhelmed! Yes, this was as chaotic as it looked!

Do I look as totally exhausted as I feel! This is just prior to delivery. How come I was more terrified of this delivery than any other? Should experience actually help with nerves? Well it didn't! So many unknowns were driving me mad! I am glad I can finally sleep- a little!

Hello-hello!

Hello all my blogging friends! I am still alive and kicking. I wish I had been able to keep up with you more. I haven't had use of a computer much. We came out to CA to look for a job, and to rent our house here, then back to ID, then decided to fix up CA after offer came, then back to CA to work on house, then back to ID to pack house, then another bout of sickness while Ladd was still in away, then then we moved to CA, now unpacking in CA, then found out we have to take baby early because of complications so here we are! Crazy how life can change in a few months time. We haven't had the baby yet but we are doing screening to make sure it is OK to. It isn't how I imagined this baby coming but we are just grateful we have a doctor that noticed something was wrong. I still don't have Internet but I will try to catch everyone up when I know more. I love peeking in on all of you when I get the chance. It makes me feel like I am not totally disconnected! Jen

First Guest Blogger!

I am very excited to introduce today's guest blogger- my sister Julia! I can't think of someone better to impart some words of wisdom to all us desperate mothers out there. This amazing mother of nine will tell you how it is- straight up, no sugar added. That does mean she has doesn't have plenty of positive things to say- she just tells it how it is- pretty refreshing huh? Her children range from ages 1-17. I know what you are thinking, "she must be one of those lucky few whose husband is always around". On the contrary- This super woman husband's work takes him away OFTEN and she is the only maid that cleans her house. Although her 3 year old is a pretty good apprentice to her. She is very active in the community, within at her church and her children's 5 schools she is a constant volunteer. She sews her kids costumes, makes delicious meals, throws fun dinner parties and teaches her kids music. I had to toot her horn because you will never hear her do it. So sit back and enjoy and prepare yourself for a treat, even if it may be bittersweet.




THE ART OF WAR (SIBLING STYLE)


I am often surprised at the sophistication that my children display when they are arguing and fighting with each other. (Now, if your children do not fight, please read no further--I do not want to burst your bubble of motherhood perfection.) I too once had a beautiful bubble, but I have been mothering for almost eighteen years, and I have seen the worst. I truly thought when I only had babies and preschoolers that my children would never fight! What could they possibly fight about? If they never saw fighting or arguing, they would never fight themselves, right? HA!
Fighting between young children is pretty straightforward. If a child feels he is wronged by another, he will fix it, i.e., pull sister's hair until she lets go of the toy. Not too complicated. The beauty of little children is that they are not looking to create conflict--and as a parent the source of the problem is easy to find and fix.
Teenagers, on the other hand, seem to crave conflict and have the ability to create problems out of peace. They are gifted, I guess. Let me give you some examples:


10 year old at the dinner table: My teacher said my essay was the best in the class.
14 year old: She obviously didn't read any other essays.
FIGHT BEGINS


12 year old during FHE: John looked at me.
14 year old: You must be looking at me to know that I was looking at you.
FIGHT BEGINS


15 year old sits down to scriptures and looks at the 17 year old: Whats your problem?
17 year old: Grow up!
FIGHT BEGINS


Two teenage boys walking down the hall to their bedroom and without a word they start wrestling and punching each other. (In this case there wasn't even a verbal interaction to spark the fight-amazing!)


I do not know how and why my children possess these skills. I certainly think we have plenty of action around our home, but perhaps they are just bored and looking for something to do. Want to fight? -Julia